DAY 33

There was no movement on the scale today. Lanny had a good day. He was down another pound, which makes 31 for him. I do have a hard time keeping a happy face when my numbers don’t move for several days. I’ve been at the same number for 3 days. I dropped .3 of a pound yesterday, but today, it is exactly the same as yesterday.


I tried on some clothes this morning that I recently put in the ‘wait and see’ closet. They all fit. My fat mindset has not caught up with the weight reflected on the scale. I was watching Jillian Michaels work with a family on TV the other night, and she said something that really struck home to me. I need to mentally see myself as different before I can move forward with confidence. I have been overweight for so long, I’ve gotten very good at camouflaging. The sweaters worn over most shirts, the ‘blousy’ shirts that hide the belly ruffle; you get the idea.


I recently bought a fabulous shirt that looks good on me and is really cute [see pic above]. I couldn’t bring myself to wear it today. I sat it out the night before, but ended up wearing something ‘safe’. I keep thinking: ‘Just 5 more pounds and then it will look good’. I know - - that does not sound mentally healthy, but it is my reality.


I have been spot-on with my diet, but tomorrow will be a challenge. I have been invited to dinner with the Director of our department. You don’t turn those invitations down. I don’t know where we’re going, but I hope it is a restaurant where I can make some healthy choices. Stay tuned - - I’ll let you know what happens.


On a more positive note: Here are some physical changes that are apparent to me now, if not to anyone else:
1) I’m aware that the ‘belly’ that used to sit on my lap, although not completely gone, is definitely smaller.
2) Clothes that were too small now fit.
3) I have set aside a pair of jeans, some khakis, and some summer shorts to give to my daughter because they are too big for me.
4) I can pass the glass walled conference room at work without hating what I see in the reflection.
5) I can’t remember having a bad ankle day lately. I think less weight makes my foot a happier camper. [I have considered not taking my meds for a few days to see if I can do it]
6) My hips don’t ache at night like they used to. [less weight on them, too?]

Okay - - I need to come back and read this list the next time I’m feeling like I’m not losing fast enough. It may not be an amazing amount, but it has definitely made a difference in how I feel physically.