DAY 40

WOW – YESTERDAY WAS NOT GOOD!


SO – I was gone all day yesterday helping to set up for Pearl Camp. I was not in a situation where I could control where I ate. I struggled to find something that was ‘close’ to legal, but chose the fish and chips. I ate the salad [which came already dressed], and the fish. I pulled some of the breading off the fish, but did eat some of it. I did not eat the fries. Now, before you pat me on the back for passing up the fries, I should say that I ate a cookie. Yes, I did. It really was not that good. it was the first sugar to cross my lips in over a month, and it was not worth it!


I was so sick during the afternoon, and later in the evening. Lane asked what I wanted for dinner and I said ‘Nothing but a cup of Founder’s Tea and a melba toast!’ My stomach was rolling and I had problems [if you know what I mean].


I was so happy to be back on protocol food today. I still had a small loss, so that is good, but it was probably a result of the stomach problems.


Another challenge for tonight: dinner with the Regional Manager and some IPCs. The RM is aware of my situation and said he can show me how to order legally. Whew! I do not want to be sick again tonight.

DAY 39

PROFILE PIC EXPLANATION AND DISCLAIMER:


Okay, you’ve all seen the picture that I post on the blog. Obviously that was the ME before all the pounds. At first I posted a picture of a butterfly, using it as a comparison to my morphing into something ‘better’. I decided to use the old picture from 7 ½ years ago because it is a reflection of where I want to be, not where I am.


The picture was taken by my daughter in a hospital room after the birth of her 2nd child. That was 7 ½ years ago. [The ½ must be very important, because that sweet grandchild insists on using it every time she gives her age!]


I have actually taken my picture off my profile page at work. They had a horrible pic that looked like a fat, double-chinned grandma. [I have no idea where they found it, but as soon as I saw it, it went straight to the trash bin!]


3rd daughter is a photographer. I’m thinking of having her do a new pic that I can post on my profile page. That way I can have final approval of the shot before I agree to use it.


Weight update: 15 pounds down [plus a bit more] today for me. Lanny was down today, too. Yesterday at the grocery store the clerk commented on how much weight he has lost. He was really impressed and wanted to know what Lane was doing. Lane was wearing a 3X shirt and his baggy jeans. He put on an XL shirt for a while yesterday just to show me, and he looked GREAT! [then he changed into the 3X shirt to go grocery shopping!] Father’s Day is coming - - - - - and so are some smaller cloth

DAY 39


UNSUBSTANTIATED MYTHS:


MYTH #1: I was worried that because I was using flavorings in my water bottles, my weight loss was being impeded. I decided to go ‘cold turkey’ and use just plain water for a few days. Well, there was no difference, in fact, my losses have been better since I gave up and went back to drinking flavored water. I try to find flavorings that only use sucralose, but I admit I also occasionally use one that contains aspartame.


MYTH #2: I was sure that if I could just lose 10 pounds my world would change for the better. Reality check: 10 was pretty much nothing compared to what I needed to lose. I’m down nearly 15 pounds and it is barely noticeable to anyone else. Lanny did make a comment on Sunday that he could see a difference now. That was nice to hear.


MYTH #3: I have been taking meds since my car accident 10 years ago. [Prescription strength Aleve to be precise] I just took it every day without question. On bad foot days I sometimes took 2. Truth: I have not taken any meds at all this week and I’m doing fine. My losses over the past couple of days have been great. I recently found out that weight loss can be inhibited by medications. [wish I had stopped taking them sooner.]


MYTH #4: I had taught myself to believe that if I didn’t eat chocolate, or some kind of treat every day, I would just roll over and die. Reality check: nearly 6 weeks later I am still alive!! Sometimes I still feel ‘snacky’ at night, or actually hungry, but I’ve learned that a cup of Founder’s tea, or drinking more water takes the edge off.


MYTH #5: My family will be offended or hurt if I don’t participate in family dinners. Truth: They are just fine if I eat something different. AND - - they are not shy about eating junk in front of me. The most difficult thing is to keep my mouth shut about the fact that they ARE eating junk.


REALITY CHECK: My myths were created by ME. They were excuses or denials that were slowly destroying my health. I have become my own MYTH-BUSTER!

DAY 38


Another weekend come and gone. Another trip to the property. It’s always hard to leave the beauty and the outdoors, but it’s also great to get home. [Weekend losses – Lane 5, me 2. That makes 32 for Lane and 14 for me]


The weekend began with an adventure. I was waiting for my daughter and her girls to arrive so we could drive up together. I had taken off work a couple of hours early so we could leave before 5:00. I gassed up, stopped to pick up a new tankless water heater, then went home and waited for #1 daughter. I got a tearful call from her soon after arriving home. Her car had started up the canyon out of Price, when it just died. An officer was able to help get her to a safe spot, but she was stranded. I grabbed some water bottles and ran out the door to the rescue.


It took me a little over an hour to find her. We transferred all her luggage, supplies, kids, and cat into my car and decided to take Indian Canyon across to Duchesne. We finally arrived at the trailer around 8:00 p.m. I had missed my afternoon snack, so I was HUNGRY, as were we all. Lanny had prepared our dinner and had it waiting for us. What a sweetie!


The weekend saw Lane reach a huge milestone. On Sunday he dropped a full 5 pounds which made 100 pounds since his weight loss journey began a little over a year ago. He still has more to go - - but what a wonderful accomplishment. [Smile, hug, hug!]


Lane actually threw away a pair of jeans today!! They were worn out and WAY too big, and he decided to replace them instead of using them for ‘work pants’. Now if we can just talk him out of keeping the shirts that are torn, ripped or ragged on the edges [his ‘work shirts’], that will be awesome! He loves getting new shirts, but doesn’t like to toss the old ones.


We turned down a lot of treats over the weekend. It is not really difficult to say ‘no’. I’m really proud of my family for being so supportive of us. They don’t try to pressure us into eating things we can’t have. Each time I see the scale drop, it is worth every ‘no’. I know for sure that I would have eaten ALL the treats before. I had no will power because I had no goal or commitment. I love having a focus that produces real results.

DAY 35

YOU CAN EAT OUT AND STAY LEGAL. Of course it depends on where you go, but with the right choices, it is possible.


It was the ‘Dinner With The Director’ last night. He was vasilating between PF Changs, California Pizza Kitchen and Romano’s Macaroni Grill. We ended up at Outback. It was a great choice for me. I was able to order a small steak, a salad, and the veggies. I do admit to eating 2 coconut shrimp! [however, I should be applauded for only eating 2!]. I was up .2 of a pound today. Not bad for eating out.


After getting home from dinner, Lanny and I weeded the flower gardens and planted some flowers. I have been thinking about this theory for a while. It seems that whenever I exercise, I don’t lose, I often gain. On the days I’m more sedentary, I almost always lose the next day. I think that with so few calories, my body hangs on to the weight if I use up too many calories. That same idea does not seem to apply to Lanny. When he is more physically active than usual, he sees a better weight loss. So - - I guess it’s just a theory, and I’ll keep tracking the results.


This will be another weekend up at the trailer with the kids. It was easy last week, so this week should be a piece of cake [so to speak]. (smile)

DAY 33

There was no movement on the scale today. Lanny had a good day. He was down another pound, which makes 31 for him. I do have a hard time keeping a happy face when my numbers don’t move for several days. I’ve been at the same number for 3 days. I dropped .3 of a pound yesterday, but today, it is exactly the same as yesterday.


I tried on some clothes this morning that I recently put in the ‘wait and see’ closet. They all fit. My fat mindset has not caught up with the weight reflected on the scale. I was watching Jillian Michaels work with a family on TV the other night, and she said something that really struck home to me. I need to mentally see myself as different before I can move forward with confidence. I have been overweight for so long, I’ve gotten very good at camouflaging. The sweaters worn over most shirts, the ‘blousy’ shirts that hide the belly ruffle; you get the idea.


I recently bought a fabulous shirt that looks good on me and is really cute [see pic above]. I couldn’t bring myself to wear it today. I sat it out the night before, but ended up wearing something ‘safe’. I keep thinking: ‘Just 5 more pounds and then it will look good’. I know - - that does not sound mentally healthy, but it is my reality.


I have been spot-on with my diet, but tomorrow will be a challenge. I have been invited to dinner with the Director of our department. You don’t turn those invitations down. I don’t know where we’re going, but I hope it is a restaurant where I can make some healthy choices. Stay tuned - - I’ll let you know what happens.


On a more positive note: Here are some physical changes that are apparent to me now, if not to anyone else:
1) I’m aware that the ‘belly’ that used to sit on my lap, although not completely gone, is definitely smaller.
2) Clothes that were too small now fit.
3) I have set aside a pair of jeans, some khakis, and some summer shorts to give to my daughter because they are too big for me.
4) I can pass the glass walled conference room at work without hating what I see in the reflection.
5) I can’t remember having a bad ankle day lately. I think less weight makes my foot a happier camper. [I have considered not taking my meds for a few days to see if I can do it]
6) My hips don’t ache at night like they used to. [less weight on them, too?]

Okay - - I need to come back and read this list the next time I’m feeling like I’m not losing fast enough. It may not be an amazing amount, but it has definitely made a difference in how I feel physically.

DAY 32

Back from a weekend away and the scale is down. That is pretty sweet. It’s a better ‘sweet’ than all the treats I passed up over the holiday. Did the roasted marshmallows look good? You bet. But a loss on the scale was worth passing them by.

I did notice a shift in the food that was consumed this weekend. Usually we would have had a lot of treats floating around, but not this year. Everyone seems to have been making better choices. Crystal Light replaced sodas, there was a ton of water consumed, and the only real treats that were visible were the marshmallows and some licorice.

Lanny is now within 5 pounds of a 100 pound loss that began last year. [30 pounds and counting on the HCG diet] I’m so proud of him and his decision to make better choices. He feels better, and he certainly looks terrific. Now he really does need to have his suits altered and buy some new clothes. He has been punching holes in belts, and cinching things up, but he needs to get some clothes that actually fit. [hint, hint, kids - - Father’s day and his birthday are coming up!]

Eating our protocol food was not a problem at all over the weekend. In fact, I think people would like to have been included in some of our meals. While they were eating hot dogs we were having delicious tilapia. When they were having cold sandwiches, we were eating steak and fresh veggies. I certainly didn’t feel deprived at all. Breakfast was the most startling difference. Camping always involves hot chocolate, pancakes, eggs, bacon, etc. and Lanny and I sat there eating our apple and melba toast. [and, just as a side note, it was totally rotten of my son to microwave popcorn at 10:00 p.m. on Saturday night in my trailer and leave us with the fragrance of freshly popped corn!]

Today, my department is supplying lunch from the café downstairs. I brought my own. They may think I’m weird, but it doesn’t really bother me. When I step on the scale tomorrow I’ll be happy with my marinated veggies and left-over steak!